my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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