So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
