oh god the rape fog is back!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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