the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
