i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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