i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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