The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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