If that was your dad, he is hot
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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