Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
