i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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