It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What a dumb baby whore.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
