you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
