i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
