i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize