Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to have your abortion
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
