nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
