Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can you bring me the toilet please
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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