Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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