I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
two words...techno handjob
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
