he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
