Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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