The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
