I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
