You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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