so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
