Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
