I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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