I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
