Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
