you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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