hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
