going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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