God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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