I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
