omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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