nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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