oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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