Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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