16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you will always have a special place in my vag
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
