this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
