I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
3 2 1 whiskey
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
