You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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