I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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