Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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