just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
