I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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