No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My feet surprised me
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