i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
