When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
