Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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