i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How's work?
Spinning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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