remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
As shirtless as possible
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
