So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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