Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
