And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
