Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
