honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
