you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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