Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
