That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize